Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize