He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize