Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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