why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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