I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
ttyl tear gas
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize