The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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