Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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