I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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