Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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