Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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