btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize