I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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