i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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