I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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