Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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