I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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