so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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