i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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