I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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