It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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