I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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