How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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