so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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