I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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