you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize