Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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