I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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