I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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