i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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