it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize