worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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