we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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