I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He shit in the fireplace
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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