Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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