And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize