so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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