I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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