i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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