I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just pee around me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize