I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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