I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize