yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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