okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize