"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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