do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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