There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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