that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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