I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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