The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sext me about skeletons
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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