I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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